#68 Product is an Excuse

Inspired by Sebastian Junger

Photo by Laura Nyhuis on Unsplash

Have you heard of that psychology study where they gather the participants in a waiting room with some popcorn in various sizes of bowls, let them socialize for a bit, and then move them into another room for the study to begin? Of course, the real study was happening in the waiting room - the formal study responses ignored - a ruse to test portion size. [1]

Over a career, work can feel a lot like this. The thing we obsess over begins to lose its sharp edges - the details become a bit hazy. We think often of binary terms like success or failure, but over the long haul, even those terms fail to account for the nuanced emotions we feel. It begs the question if what we produce isn’t durable, what is?

"(technology is) sort of like sediment of rocks. You're building up a mountain and you get to contribute your little layer of sedimentary rock to make the mountain that much higher.” - Steve Jobs

It took me years to learn that work isn’t just about what you produce. Our humanity can’t be distilled to solely what emerges at the end of an assembly line. This is the type of insight that can only emerge looking back, overshadowed early in our careers by our drive to learn a craft and eye towards success.

There is a side benefit of putting relationships first - when things don’t go your way, and they often won’t - you won’t bristle too much as you won’t be alone. All projects are temporary; you’re playing the long game - the game of human connection.

When I look back on work, the part that matters wasn’t the end result, it was the people who chose to join the cause and the time we spent together. It’s one of the reasons soldiers often struggle on returning from war or boomerang for another tour. War is a crucible of connection.

“Human beings need three basic things in order to be content: they need to feel competent at what they do; they need to feel authentic in their lives; and they need to feel connected to others. These values are considered "intrinsic" to human happiness and far outweigh "extrinsic" values such as beauty, money, and status.”

―Sebastian Junger, Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging

The early 1800’s development of the corporation as a formal entity doesn’t get the credit it deserves. It enabled groups beyond a small family or local operation to work together, playing a major role in industrialization. For the first time, large groups could play the coordinated game of business.

We take this broader context for granted, but maybe it was just the excuse we needed. Perhaps we’re all just searching for a bit of human connection and the work, our precious product, is just an excuse we can all believe enough in to suspend reality.

If true, the import is to keep your product in perspective. Take an interest in people for who they are. Get to know them, their interests, their family. If you have to part ways, wish them well and help however you can. Reach out now and then and check in on them. Oh, and don’t be a pessimist. No one wants to be around that.

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

―Maya Angelou

The real product isn’t what we ship, it’s connection.

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[1] Cornell recently validated the notion that portion size influences calorie intake.